


The Lion Goddess

by CrimsonKai



Series: Through the Lion's Eyes [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Development, M/M, POV Allura (Voltron), allura is gonna get a character arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 20:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15614202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonKai/pseuds/CrimsonKai
Summary: Only make promises you can (not) keep.





	The Lion Goddess

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic ever and first contribution to the Voltron fandom! This fic has been something that I've been thinking about for a while now (since i first watched the show after s4 aired). So I decided to post this now before s7 will break me :'D
> 
> That being said I hope you enjoy this and leave some constructive criticism!

 

_Sekhmet - The Egyptian goddess of healing and renowned as the fiercest hunter in the desert - the protector of pharaohs who led them in warfare._

 

“Are you sure about this, Shiro?” A layer of uncertainty was in her tone, though she hoped to hide it. Her friend gave a hum of agreement as his prosthetic hand rubbed the back of the occupant in his arms. Asleep for now. A rarity, in the little amount of time she has known him.

“Keith mentioned it. At first, I wasn’t sure what to think of it but…” he trailed off as he adjusted his hold. “His reasoning made sense, there’s no one else he- no -  _ both _ of us, would trust more.” Measured grey eyes met hers, assured in their decision. “I trust his judgement, and I as I’m sure you do mine when I say that I trust you with him, Allura.”

“I-I’m honoured, truly, but…” unable to hold his gaze, her eyes dropped to the floor.

Shiro seemed to sense her unease and focused his attention back to his charge. Hand now stroking the soft, black hair. An absent minded forehead kiss. The black paladin had never looked more… at ease. If they weren’t about to embark on what might be their final battle in a couple vargas she might be a little concerned. As upfront as she would like to imagine herself to be, she knew better than to break the silence of this moment. She had no desire to ruin it with worries of the future, not when there is still a future to be had.

Ultimately, it’s that final thought that kept coming back to her. Rising from the shadows of doubt and that ever-present feeling of  _ unworthiness _ that has been plaguing her throughout this relentless intermission period.

She straightened her shoulders and clasped her hands together, before directing her eyes at Shiro once again.

“I pray that it will never come down to it. I will do everything in my power that it won’t ever come to pass… but, if that is what you both wish, then it will be so.” The corner of her mouth quirked upwards, exuding confidence in spite of her slightly trembling hands. 

_ Confident and firm _ .  _ Like a leader should be.  _

“But don’t think that I will let you go off to get yourself killed,” her authoritative tone not slipping his notice as he glanced her way, a wry smile forming on his lips. “You are one of my closest friends, and you have been through so much… both of you. You deserve this and more, Shiro.” 

Shiro looked at her with widened eyes, frozen in place. Only breaking out of it when the child in his arms fidgeted to get more comfortable, drawing his attention back as he rocked his arms to soothe him. “I doubt I would get very far without Keith dragging me back, besides…” his eyes drifted down to the still sleeping child. “I have someone waiting for me back home.”

That feeling of dread never left her. The foreboding sense that  _ something  _ was wrong. The warning went unheeded.

 

* * *

 

Motherhood was something that she never gave much thought to. An expectation certainly, to continue the line of Alteans. Maybe even something she might possibly want for herself someday. But waking up to a war-torn universe and the imminent threat of death at every corner, shifted her focus. Survival and hope on the new generation of paladins presented before her was the key. It took time. But after enough hard-fought battles, after all the pain, loss and adrenaline, they found solace in one another - a family of their own making.

_ Tell yourself this every morning as you prepare for the day. Do what you must to reassure yourself every time you leave him for the night. Repeat that list of everything you are grateful for before falling asleep, because it is better to believe you did right than otherwise. A monarch must always push forward. Regardless of the consequences. _

She seeks solace in the quiet of the nursery. The glow of the hologram night sky her only company as she watches over him. She recalls how the team spent vargas putting the room together for their new family member. Pidge elbows deep in the wiring of the projector, Lance teaming up with Coran in painting the walls, while making faces at the baby (the first ‘Voltron baby’), while Keith remained in the corner, his undivided attention on the bundle cradled in his arms. Shiro wasn’t too far away, assisting Hunk with carrying the cot in. But as soon as he could, he immediately went to tend to his family. The memory seeps in, a mere trickle at first, but it quickly ensnares her. 

_ Pat yourself on the back. Remember. You  _ **_earned_ ** _ this. _

The bonds they forged. It  _ was _ worth it. To stop Zarkon. To defeat Lotor. It  _ was _ worth the pain, the close-calls. To protect Earth and the families they left behind. The special few she could only hear snippets of. For Shiro, who didn’t hesitate in his final moments. And for Keith who followed after him, because his choice was made years ago. 

As many times as it takes. 

_ Was it worth it? _

_ For _ **_his_ ** _ future, it was. Excuses. Stop lying to yourself. _

She feels like a dying animal, suffocating in the jaws of her own making. Every point of reason, every excuse, slowly squeezing the life out of her. Her will, crushed and forgotten.

You will live with this. Because you  _ keep  _ your promises, no matter how much it hurts you. And when the inevitable day comes, you will look into the haunting eyes that once belonged to your dear friend and you will tell him that no greater sacrifice could be made. Because sometimes the universe just doesn’t give a damn what you want. 

_ Pray that he will not grow to resent you for it. _

_ Or _ you could take another path.

You will take him under your wing and raise him as if he were your own. You will nurture him, teach him empathy and kindness - to grow into the kind of person his parents would be proud of. Guidance will yield stability, knowledge will grow into wisdom - all the makings of a leader. He will learn to love himself first and foremost. Because no one is above a little selfishness. And maybe, just  _ maybe, _ you can forgive yourself a little too.

“I can’t be Shiro or Keith,” she begins, voice trembling as she struggles to keep the tears in. “But I  _ will _ take care of you, no matter what happens.” Words carry little weight, she knows this well now. It is her actions from here on that will be her judgement.

Truly _ , _ being a mother was something she never gave much thought to. But she will fight tooth and claw to protect this life. Stepping out into the corridor, she looked back once more before the sliding door closed with a sense of finality.  _ Redeem yourself _ . She can make this work. For the both of them.

_ Father, please, watch over him. _

Ryouta Shirogane will never be alone again. Not while she still breathes. Not on her watch.

__This_ is the promise that she will keep. As many times as it takes._

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first in a series that I have been planning (extensive AU'S included) so hopefully you can stick around for the ride! There's going to be angst, tears, revenge, joy and some new characters so keep an eye out :D  
> (If you got the reference in the summary you get a cookie)


End file.
